Written Sept 2016
Here I am on the eve of my eldest son getting married, and what am I thinking of? I’m thinking about when he was born–of course. It doesn’t help that he chose to be married in the same month as when he was born, so even the slightest pumpkin aroma or the beginnings of a fall chill remind me of those waiting, hopeful days.
I was so young and so naïve, but so excited on that memorable day that I drove not twice but 3 times to Grandview Hospital, hoping to deliver the child that had taken over my body. The leaves were a colorful plaster along the side of Ridge Rd as my mom and I hurried to my destination. I can see the wet, colorful red and yellow leaves with the tire paths through them as if it were yesterday.
The third time I visited the hospital, I had a higher than normal temperature and out of the kindness of the nurse’s heart, I was allowed to stay overnight. I had run out of relief at home, so I was ready to deliver.
I didn’t seem to mind that I lay on a gurney that night in a dark room with only the pain to keep me company. The nurses were tired of me coming in, claiming I had pains when I wasn’t dilated enough. So when they checked me in the morning, I was sure I’d get the same response to “go home and get some rest.” But I can still hear the doctor’s thrilling response to my negative assumption, “No, you’re going to have a baby today!” Oh what sweet words they were. I had had it with this pain and the waiting. I’m not sure if I cried tears of joy then, but I am today just thinking of those words on that milestone of a day. I was going to have a child and this tiresome pregnancy would be over. Later, people mixed congratulations with “Oh, your difficulties are just beginning,” but I have to say, I never found that to be true. Having a child, holding a child, and loving a child is just too wonderful to compare. I was not a good pregnant woman and an even worse deliverer, but being a mother…now that’s something I loved and still love today. I am an empty nester and yet I can still feel his body next to mine after the delivery. It was too beautiful to describe.
My firstborn has found someone to share his life with and even though I know my mothering will not be needed very much at all, I couldn’t be happier. I sure wouldn’t want to give birth again, but I am so thankful that this fall, I can celebrate again his wonderful birth and marriage.
To see the mother son celebration go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQHU_aAPaUI